My friends were understanding for a long time, until they didn’t want to deal with my depression anymore. I don’t want to avoid being open, being vulnerable, being myself. I don't know if its shallow of me but i feel like i'm only 18 once and should try and get the most out of life with not much responsibility. ), it might be time to rethink your relationship. One of my closest and most beloved friends is a brilliant and very self-sufficient woman who is capable of narrating her pain or upset dispassionately - she doesn’t fling herself on the ground and roll around and wail, she says, rather calmly, “this is excruciatingly painful.”. It's not an uncommon problem, but it has many sources. They don’t care enough about me to want to know how I am doing. I don’t need people judging my relationship. A friend was asked by some misguided adult to reach out to me and get me to open up. "Start taking better care of yourself and make your own self-care more important than pleasing the toxic friend. But I've been thinking, if she is treating me like this, was she really my friend in the first place? She is upset because we don’t see each other often anymore, and I don’t know how to tell her I don’t care to be one of her close friends anymore. But when I'm upset, they act like nothing happened. That’s a real friend. Unfortunately, one of the signs your friend doesn’t care about you is if they only reach out when they need help with something or to get something from you. Understandably, being friends with people comes with some degree of help and assistance. ... Do my friends like me or see me as irritating? Don't put off friends off when you are busy. It all evens out in the end. Because friends don't treat friends in these manners, even if they don't want to be friends; you'd have a conversation about it, not ignore them or act like they're not important. They only talk about themselves. Tom Grill/Getty Images. friends don't care! If you find that you're constantly listening to your friend talk about their problems, offering them advice, and consoling them, but … Real friends can be trusted with your secrets. It might be fair to say that no one is perfect. They respond to consequences. To My Friends, I am tired of making excuses on your behalf. This isn’t because people are mean or hurtful, but simply because they are mostly focused on themselves. Don't kid yourself that they still are great friends if they’ve stopping inviting you out or act as though they don’t care about you. The opposite problem can affect your bond too. I am tired of picking up the slack with my friends. I personally don't tend to have friends that are so angry with life, complaining about everything as i believe that negative feelings have a tendency to catch on and that's something i would prefer to avoid. Whilst they don’t have to agree with everything you do, a good friend has your back whether you’re right or wrong. Don’t waste time on emotions, or getting hurt for someone who doesn’t care for you. My husband explained this to … It seems like I'm walking around with the weight of the world on my shoulders — literally, and its making me dive headfirst into depression. Maintaining friendships can get harder as we get older. But don't tell her, "I don't want to be friends anymore" unless you're really sure you want to end it. We've been together for over a year and a half, and I've noticed during this time if I mention my friends pet dying, or even a friend themselves dying, the response is always "sucks to suck" or "should've been watching them better." “I rarely write reviews but I’m so impressed by this book, I can’t recommend it enough for anyone who has suffered abuse by a narcissist or is trying to get out of an abusive relationship now.You deserve the best and more… so I strongly encourage you to get this book!” Most importantly, don’t take things personally—focus on what you can control and improving your own life. Having lots of friends is no guarantee that you will never be lonely. “I care about my friends, but sometimes I don’t think that they care about me in return. You can feel the worst kind of loneliness when you’re surrounded by friends but they don’t seem to love you back or need you.”—Anne. My sister is autistic and has a lot of medical issues so they give her all of the attention and love they can, and they just ignore me. Being busy is something a lot of us deal with, but if you are consistently putting other obligations in your life ahead of your friends, they may feel you don't care and back away from your life. I like this trick because you can use it in almost any conversation and it’s … One of the women is going to get married soon with all that entails. That is a fact of life. I live five minutes from a friend of mine and for a while we were very close. Just don’t … A friend of mine is having some problems, basically she has been having an affair with a senior colleague her husband has found out and she has had t. Create an account to join the conversation. “I care about my friends, but sometimes I don’t think that they care about me in return. I was dangerously depressed and felt on the verge of suicide. We Don’t Care About Your Precious Office Culture, You Can Keep It Jessica Wildfire in The Post-Grad Survival Guide I Wish My 24-Year-Old Self … Trying to Solve Other People’s Problems Often Makes Things Worse, Not Better We talk at least twice a week and get together whenever we can. People don’t care about you. Have your say, get notified on what matters to you and see fewer ads. But distinguishing between the two is critical in maintaining a loving relationship with them. I feel like while everyone is kind to each other in the group and celebrates their successes and lives, I am overlooked and even ignored, often. But it's a dick move for someone to badmouth your friends to your face when — oh, right — they're your friends , and you want to make up your own mind about them. After losing those friends, I felt more alone than ever. I want to make decisions out of love… love for myself and love for humanity. QUESTION: I have a problem that has been ongoing for my entire life: I have no friends. Throughout my life, I've made a lot of friends who have ditched me or bullied me at some point. I finally found a friend group which I like, but now I'm starting to feel as if not one of them really cares about me. It was my birthday the other day. We do this thing where we decorate each person's office area on their birthday. And it’s a natural instinct to try to offer solutions when someone you care about is upset. The only reason I haven’t killed myself already is that they’ve lost 4 unborn babies and I don’t know how my family would react to losing another child. Why do I get so worried about all my friends’ problems? That’s disgusting since that … I care about my BFFs and they care about me. If you hang out enough, she shouldn't care that your entrée cost $3 more. On top of that my disorders and disabilities are also genetic and would cause a lot of issues in someone who is disabled. Ask their opinion about a problem you have to switch the focus over to you. My boyfriend asks me “Why do you care so much?” when I … I am 27, in a friendship group of five women. I’m tired of reassuring myself that you really are my good friends – though you do little to prove it. I don’t mean to sound whiny, but a supportive family is crucial. We don't have to. Building on the last point, I can completely confirm that a friend who doesn’t care about you will not be there for you during dark days. I Love My Friends, But It Feels Like They Don't Love Me. I tried to say that we don’t know the severity of the disability and I don’t believe I would cope having to raise a child who has the potential mental capacity of a 4yo for the rest of my life. 12. 1. But, a friend who doesn’t care about you will probably ignore how you feel and focus on themselves because they’re self absorbed. People don’t always realize manipulation does not even have to be blatant. If your blood kin don’t support you, find some elsewhere. Or me, my boyfriend or how we decide to live our lives and go about our relationship. They don’t support you during tough times. Try … Here are my 10 best tips on what to do when people only talk about themselves and don’t ask you any questions. I am tired of telling myself that each and every one of you, just like everyone else on the planet, is simply busy with your own life, and that’s why we haven’t talked in a while. One of the first times I tried talking to a friend about my personal hell (scientists often refer to that as "life"), I was fifteen. I don’t want to hurt her, because she is such a sweet person and cares for me, we have just naturally drifted apart. "You don't lean on me." They get sad over a bad grade or something, and I always make them feel better. My girlfriend (24) and I (25) have some problems. And from that choice, I am committing to find balance in sharing my issues, my problems, and my shame stories: I don’t … Please help! I recently lost a sibling unexpected and in fairly tragic circumstances, no details as fairly outing. Dear Alice, I'm the peacemaker among my friends, the introverted listener. Only 10% in this model is time spent in empathy. 4. My Friends Don't Care When I'm Upset! If you've listened to their problems and cared and they can't do the same in return,then they are not a friend. I don't get it. It can be hard to accept that your friendship has changed or that the people you thought were friends aren’t great friends to you. Remember— highly manipulative people don’t respond to empathy or compassion. Sometimes, it's easier to share your struggles with a stranger—especially if they have been through the same things—because there is less concern about being judged or criticized. If your friend simply refuses to back you up on anything, they clearly don’t care enough about you and they’re showing one of the clear signs your friend doesn’t respect you. So, no, by her standards, I was not a legitimate friend of her's. If someone has betrayed your trust more than once (and not apologized! 7. The problems drift from abuse in their homes, relationship problems, suicide, and MORE! Also, after post partum psychosis he took away my meds and gave me pot. It can happen on a smaller level too. I think I take on other people’s messes and drama way too much. Doctors and other kinds of professionals don’t believe her. 4. Dear Polly, I feel upset and disillusioned by how my old friends behave toward me. It doesn't make you a bad person — it's just about bringing your full self to the table each day, and sometimes our full selves just don't match with old friends anymore. "I met my best friend way back in college. But that does not mean that a person should make you the problem. Fake friends will tell your secrets to others because they don’t really care about you or respect your privacy. Joining a social network is no guarantee that you will never be lonely. Some people select partners, get married, have kids, build careers, buy homes, move to new places, and so on. But lately I find myself dealing with my friends and their problems more than ever. To offer advice, someone doesn’t have to experience the exact same problem as a friend. They’re not too busy. 5 Mistakes You Make When Trying To Talk About Your Problems. Our lives become busier. You can feel the worst kind of loneliness when you’re surrounded by friends but they don’t seem to love you back or need you.” —Anne. When a guy cares for you it should be pretty obvious. Fortunately pot was a decent drug for me,, but it was illegal at the time and it was given to me without a doc’s knowledge. Don't hesitate to seek help outside of your family and friends. I'm struggling with this a bit to be honest but I'm shocked and disappointed by my so called "friends" response. ... We all have busy lives and I’d rather spend mine with people who are actually my friends. The only person we can change is ourselves. But one thing that hurts me … Premium Active discussions Register or sign in Talk That might work for you. When I want to tell my friend something, I have a sleepover. I tried talking to them about it, but they got all defensive. Well, let me restate that: I have no friends … I'm having a hard time lately as I feel like none of my friends care about me, I have no close friends and I'm not sure if I'll ever get any. Throughout my life, I've made a lot of friends who have ditched me or bullied me at some point. When I moved in with my boyfriend, I kept it very quiet because I didn’t need my super conservative friends judging my decision and making negative assumptions about me or my … But once I realized this is all they wanted from me, I basically stopped caring about their problems. If you tell your friends about Anki/SuperMemo, don’t be too enthusiastic (on the outside) or else you’re going to scare them off : This is one reason why I started this blog: if people realize the value of what I’m saying, they would be naturally attracted to my content, so … Register now. They don’t care.
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